Text on a black background advertising the 'First Contact Tour 2087,' scheduled for March 2087 at Vesta, L5 Station, Phobos. The event features the Alien Ship and a final show, with stars decorating the design.

FIRST CONTACT TOUR 2087 – Official Merch

Humanity’s Biggest Moment. Our Most Ridiculous Shirt.

When the universe finally answered back, governments sent their best ships… and Theodore Maxim showed up in a concert tee. One part rock-tour, one part apocalypse gag, the FIRST CONTACT TOUR 2087 shirt became an instant legend—the most inappropriate outfit at mankind’s most important meeting.

Now you can own the replica that launched a thousand facepalms (and memes). Vintage distressed style, bold print, and just enough attitude to make aliens question our priorities.

Perfect for:

  • Sci-fi fans who like their history with a wink

  • Readers of The Shepherd Descends who know Maxim stole the show

  • Anyone convinced humanity would bring merch to first contact

  • That one friend who’d absolutely make T-shirts for the end of the world

Wear it, laugh at it, and remember: in 2087, humanity failed the test… but at least we looked good doing it.

Amazon logo with black text and orange arrow underneath, on a white background.